dear diary (random thoughts) 01/14/2009

dear diary,

i was on the phone with my wife this morning as i drove into work. i cut her off in mid sentence so i can share what is now becoming yet another pet peeve of mine...useless information people plaster on their cars (be it personalized license plates and bumper stickers). now, not all bumper stickers are annoying...wait, yes they are. as far as north carolina? they are the WORST for personalized license plates. i hate them!! well today spawned an idea. my wife first blurted it out, and i ran with it and think it would make money in these dire times. here is the bumper sticker, and the idea...ready? here it goes. bumper sticker: "my grandchild was born by a midwife". ok. WTF????? am i supposed to drive up to this person and wave at them to tell them good job? this person obviously felt the need to advertise it, so we as passerbys (consumers if you will) are supposed to respond right? but how? useless, random thoughts. now, the idea...ready for this? my wife is the brain child behind it, so i will give her credit. however, i will take credit for my bumper sticker as i came up with it. we would like to start a bumper sticker making website that allows you to personalize your own bumper sticker. hey, if you can't beat them join them i guess. i would like to keep the theme of useless information though. for example my bumper sticker would say..."i had corn in my poop today". see? how fun is that? or what about..."my aunt called today". this will soon take the place of stupid little stick figures of your family plastered all over the back of your windshield too! i hate those things too. please feel free to leave your random thought as well.

i love you,
maynard

PS: i've never open mouth kissed a horse before

dear diary (wrong number...again) 01/02/2009

dear diary,

well...what a way to start off the new year with yet another good time with a wrong number phone call. by the way...this is blog 100 for me. as i prepare my lunch in the microwave, my cell phone rings. the caller ID says "unknown" so i know this has got to be a telemarketer...let the fun begin. luckily, my friend becky was sitting near by and so i was able to place the call on speaker phone so it can be witnessed. below is the conversation...

me: "hello?"

female voice: "is this antonio blah-blah-tinaz?"

me: "yes"

female voice: "i would like to ask you a few questions"

me: "i'm not wearing any pants"

female voice: "ok???"

me: "i like cheese"

female voice: "sir, you aren't by chance philapino?"

me: "pablo? come to florida"

female voice: "hello?"

me: "hello"

female voice: "hello, i'd like to ask you some questions"

me: "pablo? come to florida"

female voice: she started speaking in spanish to me...

me: i rambled useless jargin to her in response

she hangs up. tell me again why we don't want telemarketers to call us??? if anyone would like to purchase a recorder for me so i can have them at times of wrong numbers, i would be willing to accept it.


i love you,
maynard