dear diary,
i am not a fan of ultimate fighter. i have seen them, i just don't enjoy them. i was watching snippets of the most recent UFC the other night, and it dawned on me that i could actually win at this. my technique is a simple strategy that would involve being in close, tight proximatey to my opponent (the trick would be getting close before getting killed). but once up close, my technique would kick in. it's simple. i would whisper in his ear how much i enjoy wrestling with him, and how good he smells. i figure one of two things would happen at this point (A) he would freak out and then i could scissor kick him into submission or (B) i risk the chance of getting annialited. my bet would be choice "A" and the reason for this is because generally they are homophobic anyway and that would just scare them, thus allowing my scissorkicks that i've been working on now for quite some time to take effect. i think it would be funny too during the press conference when he's asked, "what happened? you just quit fighting?" he would probably say, "maynard told me i smelled good and that he liked being this close to me". that's when i would become stupid and be like..."what are you talking about?" much like this blog...what am i talking about? i have no earthly idea.
i love you,
maynard
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5 comments:
You make me laugh....
I had the exact same thought once.
http://zombiehaven.blogspot.com/2008/10/zombie-becomes-punching-bag.html
I thought I could easily dominate. SO I went and tried at the local Mixed Martial Arts school and got in some fights. I got beat up in ways I have never been punched or thrown or kicked or squeezed. These guys didn't care at all about looking gay. I think one had me in a leg lock that was very homosexual looking because his crotch was pretty much in my face as I bled. You should try it though, let me know how it turns out. Funny blog man. (Your word verification says "Forking" Wow, how fitting for this one.
jason when i read your blogs i laugh! i dont know what to say after i read them somtimes, but know this, i laugh!
jim
jason when i read your blogs i laugh! i dont know what to say after i read them somtimes, but know this, i laugh!
jim
You'd win...hands down.
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