dear diary (people make me sick) 12/01/2008

dear diary,


i claim christianity. i don't always portray that of a "christian" but i am one. i love jesus. i work in a service industry environment both at my real job during the day, and on the weekends waiting tables. it's tough to portray a christian attitude, lifestyle, and all that goes along with being a christian when you are in a service type of industry. i've debated on writing this now for a while, but yesterday for me was the straw that broke the camal's back. i will now vent my human side, because i am human, or is it that i feel lead to do it? you be the judge... people make me sick. i would like to ask you what demographic of people generally show up to a restaraunt on sunday afternoon dressed up in their suits, ties, dresses, dress shoes, and not a hair out of place? can you guess? they are generally coming from a church of some kind. i wish i am making this up but i would like to continue to describe the personality of these people. 99.9% of them have a scoured look on their face (kids included), they seem extremely unhappy, and extremely demanding. who am i speaking about? one would be lead to believe they are "christians". if the shoe fits right? i fall into this category as well, so i'm not pointing fingers by any means. but since i claim christianity, i am more opened to recognizing this attitude. whether or not we mean to portray it, it is being portrayed. i work 2 jobs not because i want to, but because i have to. i started working sundays because of christmas coming up so i have been exposed for the moment of the typical sunday afternoon christian crowd that comes into a restaraunt to feed themselves and to be waited on. yes, to be waited upon. were christians not called to be servants? that's not why i serve, but you know what i mean. i overheard a co-worker talk about a fellow believer and the attitude they portray. and i would like to quote what she said, "this is why i don't go to church. they are hateful a**holes, and are hypocrites" she was speaking to another co-worker who was agreeing with her. at first i wanted to jump out of my skin, but then i thought about what she was saying, and unfortunately i agreed with her. she's right. and they were. but am i? sure, i can be. am i wrong? absolutely. do i ask myself questions and then answer them? you bet i do. now a typical saturday night is different. you don't know the demographic that comes into the restaraunt. they can range from the hardcore christian to the hardcore atheist...you just don't know. what i do know, the attitude is different on saturday nights. i see it. i witness it first hand. it makes me ill. it's put me in check with myself and how i treat other people, if in fact i claim to be a christian. i got stiffed yesterday by a table. i was pissed. i still am. but what can i do about it? i can get over it and move on. these people that stiffed me were dressed up very nice, and came in during the hours of 1pm - 3pm too. i know i'm not a bad server because my tips prove that i'm not. i make good money doing it. i get compliments, and i don't have a problem telling you i do either. but as a christian, i must get over it and continue to "love my neighbor" and that my friend is hard to do. i know that may seem cliche to say as a christian, but it's the truth. how can i show the love of god when i'm not portraying it? maybe the problem is me. what if i do my job to the best of my ability as "if i'm working for the lord". does he not take care of me and my family? yes he does. so why am i even making an ordeal about it? maybe to shed light on our behavior, if in fact we claim to be a christian should we not at least act like it? i am guilty of this as well. why would someone want to be a part of this lifestyle when they are portrayed as "a**hole hypocrites?" it opened my eyes. hopefully it will yours.


this time, i mean it...i love you,

maynard