dear diary (dear pinto) 11/28/2008

dear diary,

tonight i had to take my golden retriever to the emergency room. while my dog was being treated, i had nothing else to do but to check out the bulletin board that the vets had up due to the onslaught of "thank you" notes they receive...of course i read EVERY one of them. but the one that struck me the most is the one below that i had to ask for a piece of paper and pen to copy. this is verbatim...(and it's a cat too by the way...as if that mattered)

"hi dr. bass and staff,
this is pinto, i am writing to say that i'm doing much better since you helped me last week. i am eating (didn't vomit once) pooping nice big ones, and peeing just fine now. i kind of made a mess of my new collar and i get it off tuesday -- YEAH!! i just wanted you to see how well i look in less than a week. thanks everybody! now if i could just tease this pen out from under the printer...
love,
pinto

PS: my mom and dad say thanks too!"


are you for real with this???? i don't even know where to begin. are we lead to believe that this cat has posable thumbs? oh wait...i failed to mention that the letter was typed. are we lead to believe that this cat can type? what are these people like i wonder? i can only imagine. i'm not opposed to writing "thank you" notes by any means...but to make them from the view point of your pet? are you stupid? you must be. i'll be honest. when i was reading this i was thinking to myself, "surely this cat isn't typing this out...i can't believe this cat is typing this out...oh, there's a PS...i see...haha, you got me". NO!!!! i didn't fall for it. i knew right away that cats can't type. i'll admit, i'm not a big fan of cats. but pinto? that letter had me at poop. i would swerve to miss it if it were strolling in the street. if i knew for sure it were pinto.

i love you, and i love you too pinto,
maynard