dear diary (rudolph the discriminated reindeer) 12/15/2006

dear diary,
my oldest daughter has been singing "rudolph the red nosed reindeer" now since thanksgiving. i'm not sick of it by any means, i love to hear her sing. but i've thought about this christmas carol, and i honestly feel sorry for rudolph. he wasn't allowed to play reindeer games because of his nose. he couldn't control that. he was born that way. what if i were born with a red nose? would none of you be my friends? of course you would. so why does this discrimination take place between animals? even in the t.v. show he was forced to the island of misfit toys because he was an outcast. while all the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names. you'd get sued for that now. if i were rudolph, i would press charges on all of santa's reindeer, and santa himself. if santa was truly "jolly ole saint nick" like he claimed, he would never had allowed this to take place. let's think about that for a second. santa is "jolly"...meaning happy, jubulant, joyful. santa was described as a "saint". i don't remember any of the catholic saints pointing out people's faults and picking on them and discriminating against them do you? did mother teresa do that? what about the pope? i don't think so. so why did santa allow it? he's the devil that's why. hand him a pitch fork, and there you go...he already has the red suit. and why red? rudolph's nose couldn't have been that bright if it were red. it should have been white like our headlights on the car are. i could believe that story much better if he had a better lit nose. (your nose gets red from drinking to much i know that...) yeah, i know all the other reindeer, they laughed and called him names, they wouldn't let him play any games...what if that christmas eve wasn't foggy? where would rudolph be then? what song would we be singing? rudolph the suicidal reindeer? yeah, that will go over like a fart in church. so keep singing the song, year after year we know of a reindeer that gets discriminated against. merry christmas.

i love you...and you too rudolph, you too.
maynard