dear diary,
i don't know about you, but i love when someone calls me that didn't mean to. tonight, i had a drunk african american lady call asking if randy was there. my opportunity for fun knocked on my door...and i let it in. now before i go any further with this blog, i should warn you that "denise" said some swears at me. but i kept my cool, and refrained from saying any swears back. denise also had another male friend in the background that liked to shout at the phone too (i hate that). randy (played by yours truly) gave denise his phone number last night. obviously, randy wasn't the kind of guy who shows chivalry, or he would have called her instead...but that's not the case here. i'm going to do my best to re-act the conversation that i just had...if you want to hear the real thing, please ask me the next time you see me. reading it won't do it justice...however, it's still pretty funny.
denise: is randy dare?
randy: dis randy
denise: what-choo doin?
randy: nuffin
denise: you toad me to call, so i'm callin'
randy: when i say to call?
denise: last night when you was rubbin' my f***in feet
randy: i ain't never touched yo nasty feet
denise: s**t you didn't
some guy in the background: tell randy to kiss my d**k
denise: dwayne says to kiss his d**k
randy: he ain't got one
laughter
denise: what-choo doin f***er?
randy: why you gots to swears at me?
denise: i ain't swearin
randy: you done said da "f" word at me
denise: randy?
randy: denise?
denise: aww hell...dis ain't...some a b***h
click.
i love you...and you gots nasty feet denise,
maynard
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